Tuesday, February 27, 2007
I don't know how to mourn a loss and to heal from it. I know how to be strong, how to rationalize it in my head; like an upsetting movie that I'm thinking about for a few days after viewing it. Or hearing bad news, and everytime you remember what you heard, it's like, "oh, right...damn..." I want to feel the weight of what has happened, I want to scream, to cry, to be unconsolable. My fear is that it will hit me at the worst time, or a long time from now, when everyone else is "over it," and all of a sudden, I'm thrown into a mess of tears and anguish. Right now I'm trying to figure out whether it is because I don't fully understand and FEEL what has happened, or really, am I that strong of a person?
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Today, to deal, I'm silent. No talking, no thinking about what is coming out of my mouth. I don't have to make the choice of telling the truth or lying. Bury myself in a book, work, listening only to the sound of the keyboard, ambient sounds at work, something. Anything.
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Here in the city it is a gorgeous, calm day, punctuated by the sight of hurried men shopping ... hehe. I really don't have an opinion on this holiday either way. My take on it: celebrate love, those you love, and yourself. The only thing mandatory is doing something nice for someone else; not just because of what day it is, but because you want to, and you would have done it anyway.
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Three things that scare me:
1. Unsolved Mysteries
2. Being lonely
Three people who make me laugh:
One must meet all aforementioned individuals to get the gist of how much these three make me laugh.
Three things I love:
2. My DVR
Three things I hate:
1. Being sick
3. Leaving the toilet seat up
Three things I don't understand:
1. Inability to let go
2. Inability to follow direction
3. Inability to love
Three things on my desk:
1. Cell Phone
2. Jamba Juice
3. Day planner
Three things I'm doing right now:
1. Listening to my new favorite CD
2. Trying to look busy at work
3. Working on a media plan
Three things I want to do before I die:
1. Stay at an ashram in India
3. Raise a family
Three things I can do:
2. Make great friends
3. Drive a stick
Three things you should listen to:
1. Your mother
2. The laughter of children
Three things you should never listen to:
1. Sound of death
3. Unhappy puppies
Three things I'd like to learn:
1. How to decorate
2. Speak a new language
3. The difference between "love" and "in love"
Three favorite foods:
1. Konkani (mom's especially)
2. Asian (sushi, noodles)
3. All forms of chaat
Three beverages I drink regularly:
1. Green tea
Three TV shows/Books I watched/read as a kid:
1. Ramona Quimby series
2. The Cosby Show
3. Judy Blume books
Three people I am tagging
Monday, February 12, 2007
1)It rained at all the right times (e.g. - when I was NOT outside walking)
2)Pandora continued to shuffle to my new favorite artist - Nya Jade. A local Bay artist with an amazing sound. Mini-plug: she's playing this Friday in the city at Canvas Cafe and Gallery @ 6P.
3)Today, February 12th, 2007, marks six amazing months with UGS.
I haven't gone to bed this happy in a long time.
Friday, February 9, 2007
Bianca: I think you can in Europe.
-10 Things I Hate About you
I was overwhelmed. To list it out: even more things I have to buy for my apartment; incoming bills; taking over full time for all the projects at work next week; and the impending arrival of my little man. Subsequently, I was in a fairly foul mood yesterday; alleviated eventually by beer and Thursday night television on ABC.
This morning, on the way to work, I started thinking and listed out all the good things going on and have come to realize that a getting a few pots and pans and paying for electricity, not that bad. So to end this short post, I'll leave you with a few positives:
-Having my little man at home with me finally. He's a lot of work, but he's mine and I love him.
-Little packets of honey at work that alleviate my sweet tooth and apparently, according to the following, are very healthy.
-I was equally annoyed about the rain and cold weather out here (I'm in California for Pete's sake)... but then I saw a homeless guy sleeping in the building entrance... I no longer felt cold.
-And this story, told to me by one of my med school friends:
"Med school is going great. I've started my rotations. On Pyschiatry right now, fun times and stories: I saw this guy walking up and down the hall of the ward, talking to himself, shouting orders and making business deals. At the end of the week I realized he didnt have schizophrenia, he had a bluetooth headset."
Happy Friday to all!
Monday, February 5, 2007
1 - Big thanks and love to the Bay folks that have made me feel right at home.
2 - The commute thing is not so bad (this coming from the girl that has currently commuted all of three days in her life).
3 - The weather is fantastic. Snow is officially a VERRY distant memory.
4 - The opportunities to eat and eat well have multiplied exponentially. Thankfully the walk from BART to work and back (see #3) has made it feasible to eat well and not blow up like a zephyr in record time.
5 - Watching a Midwestern Super Bowl in California... hmmm.... I may have to fly back to Indiana if and WHEN the Colts make it to the Super Bowl again.
I'll write more later, thanks for checking in.