Friday, June 8, 2007

Friday thoughts.

The first half of my day was frenzied. I had about 3 projects to do, all due at noon, and not one deadline was budging. So I begrudgingly turned "off" the Internet (except for g-mail) and finished it all. Then at lunchtime I walked to my favorite Japanese take-out, chatted with my mom during our daily lunch call* and then came back to another project. Yay. Finished (1 hr). I gleefully then fired up my Internet to surf my usual pop culture gossip sites. Yes, I am an addict, reading about celebrities (or pseudo-celebutantes) and how they make asses of themselves. Today's big news is how Ms. Hilton is going back to jail. That's it. That's all. Nothing else. Awesome. Isn't Lindsay Lohan doing anything crazy in rehab? Britney hasn't shaved her head yet? What, she's just hanging out with the kids in Hawaii?! Boring...

*During my call with my mom, we got to talking about Mamama. It is difficult to hear my mom grieve. And it's difficult because I'm not grieving anymore. I am at peace with her (Mamama) being gone; and it only happened because I believe that she came to me one day. A bit strange but here's how: at a recent Bal-Vihar (Sunday school of sorts for Hindu kids) prayer session, we said a particular prayer which was the first prayer I ever learned, which Mamama taught me. She was in my thoughts ("oh, this is the prayer that Mamama taught me...") as I said the prayer and then it happened. The strongest feeling took over me and as I closed my eyes, she was there. The feeling was so strong that it shook me, I opened my eyes and started looking around and my eyes welled up. After about a minute, I went back to praying.

Since that time, I've been at peace with her being gone. No more random cries and or sad thoughts. In a strange way, I've been at peace regarding a lot of things that were nagging me. No explanation as to how or why, but it is.

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